Night Out

Well today has been miserable. The weather is absolute dog shit and its depressing. I’ve spoken to Clarkie today so that has cheered me up loads. He seems in high spirits so thats reassured me loads.

I’m off out tonight. I can’t remember the last time i went out on a Thursday night and i’m quite looking forward to it. I’m going out with my friend Lucy. Her dad runs the doors on a pub in Kimberley. We’ll get free beer all night so i’m well happy.  I’m getting picked up at 7pm and its nearly 6pm now. Its hard trying to get a bath and do your make up with a 1 year old up your arse. Leyla’s problem is that she doesn’t like to play with toys and occupy herself. She would much rather be putting make up on with you. it does drive you mad. Nevermind though because at 7pm i shall be handing the reins over to my mother and enjoying a baby free night.

Random Post

Well i can’t believe how long its been since i last blogged. Well an update on Leyla spots can tell you that it was just a mother over reacted and it was a change in the wash powder. I can’t say i’m that happy about it. I got chicken pox later on and it wasn’t very nice i still have a few scars from them.

 Anyway my past fortnight has been full of action. I’ve been busy as a bee and mostly shopping for my holiday which is only 3 weeks away. Me and Leyla have had a great time. I’ve found keeping myself busy has helped to stop me from getting down when i miss Clarkie too. Unlike today which has been a total wash out. I’ve just felt drained all day and just haven’t wanted to do anything. Except write to Clarkie and wrap up his Fathers Day parcels which have taken me forever to do. Now don’t get me wrong getting stuff to go in the boxes is easy, its finding the brown paper to wrap them in thats not, I’m not kidding i went everywhere for it. Anyway there wrapped and ready to be posted tomorrow.

At the weekend me, Leyla, Mum and my mums partner Dave went away in the caravan. It was cool and it was just what i needed. We didn’t go far away from home and caravans are not the most ideal holiday with a 1 year old. But we loved it all the same. Now i was a bit of a hater when it came to caravans. We’ve all been trying to get somewhere on a weekend and gotten stuck behind one. This used to be a real pet hate of mine, that is until my mum got with a fella who owns one. Not only is it massive but its fun too. I like pulling onto a site and comparing everyones to ours. Snobbish you might say but its cool. Its a twin axled one so its pretty damn posh. And theres a kingsize bed in it. You don’t have to squash up against the sides to pass someone in it and its got a dvd player so i’m laughing. Oh my god have you heard me. I’m going to stop now because i sound like a 60 year old. I’m going to tell you what the berth is next and what upholstery i’d like. Anyway it was a good weekend. Me and mum went to play bingo for a laugh and i won £19. Leyla lost her ball in the river and i had to run down stream and paddle to get it because she was having a fit. My mum got mega sunburn and it didn’t even touch me, which is so shocking. The sun touches me and i’m a walking blister and then a leper when i start peeling. We came home on Sunday after the best fry up i’ve had in ages. I chilled and then got ready for 27, which was a bust. Nel was picking me up and he wasn’t in the best of moods when he did. He’d been working on the black car and she wasn’t having none of it. She decided to throw a paddy half an hour before 27, spat oil in his eye and managed to scratch his face. What a car!!!!! So anyway we went in the landy, had a couple of laps and the pigs turned up so we moved on to MFN. I was in high spirits because the beer supply was running low and MFN sells cheap ale. It was a good ride out everyone seemed happy enough and i enjoyed myself.

Monday morning came round too soon for me though. My head was banging and Leyla woke up at 7am. Luckily enough she crawled into bed with me and fell back to sleep until 10.30am which was just what i needed. We chilled until dinner and then went searching the shops for brown paper.

Last month i met up with an old friend that i used to go to school with. Her names Gemma. We used to be pretty close and always had a laugh. We have some right stories to tell. Anyway just before school ended we got into a blazing row and vowed never to speak to eachother again!! The funny thing is i don’t remember what we fell out about now. So anyway when i saw her she was 9months pregnant with her first baby, walking or should i say waddling through the Four Seasons. I was that shocked to see her up the stick that i just had to talk to her. Gemma never was maternal. We got chatting had tea at the Swan and caught up. She couldn’t believe that i was married and just couldn’t get over Leyla. So anyway my point is all last week we met up nearly everyday. She’s had her little boy who is now 5 weeks old and is called Logan. Were opening a club called Yummy Mummies!! We’re not really but that what we call our little mum group. There are about 4-5 of us. We spend all day leisurely doing as we please. Its great. I’m going to be gutted when Leyla starts school and i can’t do it anymore. Saying that i want a job soon so it’ll end sooner. Its going to be fun whilst it lasts though.

This is the most random post i have ever written. Ally your going to be baffled when you read it because it doesn’t make sense to me. I might be because its 1.30am and that i can’t sleep. I’ll just read this post and i’ll be out like a light!!

Spot Alert!!

Oh my god the first sign of an illness! I think Leyla has chicken pox. Well i’m exaggerating slightly there just little spots at the minute. We both took a soak in the tub this evening, Leyla loves baths. Well its more like a wrestle with a dolphin actually rather than a soak, anyway i was washing her back and noticed some spots. She has suffered from eczema since she was born and if she has too many baths she dries up. Well i put it down to that. Until my mum came in from work and noticed them straight away. Mum’s really annoy you when they do that!! She told me to keep an eye on her and keep her warm. Its funny because she hasn’t stopped eating all day. She has been like a bloody dustbin. An for those of you who know Leyla she is an odd child. She only eats properly maybe once a week. She picks at stuff for 3 days and then has a blow out on the 4th, its a cycle that i’ve got used to. She never binges like she has today though- 5 boxes of raisins, 1 slice of toast with lemon curd on, 2 choc biscuits, 1 massive bowl of mash and gravy, 1 bowl of shredded wheat, 3 cups of juice, 2 bottles of milk, 1 packet of parma violet sweets, 1 yoghurt, 1 bowl of crunchie nut cornflakes, oh and half of my tea which was pasta. The point i’m getting at is that when kids are sick or going to be sick they stock up on food a couple of days before and then don’t eat whilst there ill. My grandma used to call it sickening for something. You know what i think she may have been right. I’ll keep you updated on the spots. Just gutted in case they are chicken pox and Clarkie misses it! Oh well can’t be morbid.

Speak to you soon x x x x x x

Hardest Days Of My Life

Well i haven’t blogged for a while so i’ll get everyone upto speed.

Thursday

Well if you read my last post you know that my Thursday was the day i waved Clarkie off. Not an easy thing to do. I was determined to stay strong and not get upset, after the thousandth kiss and ‘i love you’  it started getting difficult. I managed to stay very brave and didn’t cry, that is up until Carkie started joking about the compensation i’d get if anything did happen. Men can be such idiots in emotional moments. Well anyway he went an i waved him off and i started to feel ok. Then i get a phone call at 2am, it was Clarkie telling me that i would see him on Sunday. He’d taken Leyla’s car seat home with him to Newcastle by accident. He is a muppet!! Now don’t get me wrong seeing him again before he goes is going to be great but i’d already prepared myself and i’d just said my goodbyes a coulpe of hours ago. Its a strange situation i know but how many times can you wave someone off without it ripping your heart out? Well lets just say that when Sunday comes around i might not be the strong person again, lets just hope my chin doesn’t start to wobble!!

oh p.s Thursday night when Clarkie left wasn’t to bad actually. I went into town to see everyone and it was pretty cool. Not many people were out but i haven’t laughed that much in a long time. I was wearing my black jacket, its not very stylish and it cost me about £10. I brought from town when i was cold one day. Well anyway the next thing i know i’m not wearing it and Nel is!! Not only has he got it on but Coop and Scott are trying to fasten it up. Which may i add they did. Up until Nel tensed his chest that is and the buttons popped off! You really had to be there. Then Scott had it on and it just got funnier. There is nothing better than good mates. They were just trying to cheer me up and you know what it worked. x x x

Friday

I’m not to sure what i did today it was a moping day i think? I can remember cleaning up and looking after Moobut not a lot after that. In the evening i went Tanya’s which was cool. She lives just at the side of the Widecombe pub so we walked overto the new Tesco in Oak Tree. We got some beers and spent nearly an hour in the dvd aisle looking at stuff we wanted to watch. We walked back and settled on watching my wedding video instead. Its crazy how long i’ve been married now and that was the first time Tanya had watched the video. We had some beers and just chilled out, which i love to do with Tanya. Anyway the night went on and Dean turned up on the doorstep, he’s a mate of Tanya’s. He was upset because he’d fallen out with his mrs. We sat and watched somemore tv, drank some more beer and then Nel turned up to fetch me. He’s great and he really looks after me. I went home collapsed into bed and woke up feeling rather worse for wear!!

Saturday

Well today was a strange one. My phone didin’t stop ringing. I don’t mind feeling popular but when its the same person over and over again asking you to go out and get pissed when you really don’t feel like it, it starts to grate at you slightly. I spent all day in bed in reality. Mum and Dave had fell out and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. W”hen i eventually stumbled otu of my pit i just wanted to crawl back. I’m just going to write this day off as sucky!!!

Sunday

I didn’t get up mega eary today but i did however sit about and wait for Clarkie to drop in and leave me Leyla’s car seat. He turned up around dinner time. Him and Vinny his sergeant came in for a brew and it was surreal. It felt like he was back for weekend and that Vinny had just dropped him off. Not true though not only did i have to say goodbye on Thursday i’m having to do it all over again. At least this time it was short and sweet. They have a schedule to keep ad theycan’t get in trouble especially because he’s wuth his sergeant. It didn’t make me feel any better though. What another bummer of a day. Oh well it’ll fly by and it’ll feel like he’s never been away when he gets back.

I was looking forward to a good bank holiday Sunday. A nice day to do something with Leyla. Then later at  night a trip to 27 with everyone. Well that plan was fucked up. It pissed it down all day and all night. Went into town later at night and spoke to Clarkie. He was in a hotel for the night. He flies tomorrow at 4pm. Its all starting to feel that little bit more real now.

Monday

Well last night was poo. I didn’t sleep because i couldn’t get warm plus i had shit going through my head. Now i’m sat about waiting for Clarkie to call before he boards his plane. I look like a right loser sat with my phone in my hand worrying. Turns out his flight was early and that he couldn’t call at all. I’m gutted. I feel like ripping someones head off. I’m feeling like a bear with a sore head. He did however send me a text telling me he’d miss me and that he loves me. Thats some consolation. I’m missing him already.

Goodbyes Are Hard Enough!!

Well yesterday was an ok day. Kia got picked up and she was good all day. Apart from the little yawp now and then she was fine. I definitely prefer to have her for a few hours instead of all night and day though. Saying that i’ve got her from about 7am tomorrow all day. Anything to help the family out though.

Today has been a strange day. Clarkie is back so i make a point of not getting up with Leyla and basically staying in bed until i feel like getting up. A little unfair some may think but i’m not really that bothered. He doesn’t have to get up with her in the week and after today he doesn’t have to get up with her for months. Thats right he’s off back to Newcastle tonight. He flies early Sunday to Afghanistan. Time has just flown, i feel like i’ve blinked and its here. It must be even more so for him. He did get an extra weeks leave though so thats a bonus. So anyway i crawled out of bed about 11am and remembered that we had to meet his mum and sister at Label Traders in Sutton. Its got a play area for the kids so you can sit and scoff why the little ones play. I wouldn’t buy anything from there clothes wise, the prices aren’t that cheap but its cool for a few hours out of the house. Oh and the jacket   potatoes are to die for, there dead cheap and massive!! Mmmm!! Anyway after scoffing we had a walk round and Clarkie got out of it by looking after the kids. There is nothing i hate more than shopping with his mum and sister, they can look at one item of clothing for half and hour. I browse and if i like i buy!! Why can’t everyone be like that!! Argh! Well we were only supposed to be staying for an hour and that turned into three. It was no smoking inside so i ended up nearly ripping my hair out. 

So now we’re back at home and have been for a couple of hours. Its now 6pm and Clarkie was supposed to be leaving at this time, but no he’s gone to his mum’s instead. It really fucks me off! Not that i have i been clock watching and getting worked up all day, don’t you worry about me babe. No matter what i say or do that family comes first. Even a black eye does’nt work! Its not like we haven’t seen them loads because we have! We had a meal last week, went for tea last night and spent all morning with them today. But no he has to go and see them again!!! Whats wrong with him spending some extra time with his daughter. Am i asking too much!! I think not!! Any comments on this topic would be greatly recieved!! Anyway now thats off my chest i feel better. I am going to miss him like mad and worry myself stupid but thats how it goes!!

Well tomorrow is a busy day again for me. I’ve got little Kia again from about 7am. I’m hoping i don’t get a late night tonight. Amyway i’m off to see my husband off on his tour of Afghanistan. Wish me luck!!!

Speak to ya laters x x x  

Clarkie’s Home For A Bit

Well i haven’t blogged for a couple of days so i thought i’d get everyone back up to speed on my life. Clarkie is back!! YAY!! to say we’ve been at each others throats for months these past few weeks have been great. He was really luck and managed to blag an extra week off. He was supposed to be in Afghanistan on Monday but it turns out he has to fly with his tank and that isn’t going until the  28th. It still shit that he has to go but i’d rather spend an extra week with him. Its funny because i’ve spent loads of time away from him and managed just fine. Don’t get me wrong i miss him like fuck but you cope and make your life suit you. You make sure you don’t stop doing things you keep yourself busy and carry on as normal. Thats all well and good but this time he’s going to a war zone and it puts you on tender hooks. He hasn’t even gone and i’m watching the news every night!! I know that the media can generate bollocks and that they exaggerate stuff for a better story but it still makes you worry. He gave me an emergency contact card yesterday an i felt like sobbing. Not only does the thought of him being away for so long bother me but the thought of him not seeing Leyla for so long. I don’t want him to come back and not recognise her!! Its all a load of shit that really gets on my tits but i’m an army wife and you have to get on with it!!

Anyway lets get off that subject because it depressing. I’m not sure what to talk about now. Apart from i’m having Kia again today. I actually offered which was strange!! I was feeling all good Samaritan. I thought i’d give my Auntie Marie a break for a change. She’s dead on her feet most days. Plus i’ve got back up because Clarkie is home. He’s just gone to fetch her actually . I wonder what he’ll say when he gets in?

Anyway i’m off now got stuff to do. Speak to ya later!!! x x x

Boredoms A Killer

Well my Friday night was a bust. I had planned to go to a Ann Summers party at my mate Tanya’s. I’ve been looking forward to it all week and hour before it was time to go it got cancelled. I don’t know if your like me but i love Ann Summers, toys and all!! (Sorry too much information). Well anyway Tanya had a bust up with her fella and they were at lockerheads so she decided not to have it. I ended up sitting about ready at home not knowing what to do with myself and i hate that feeling. I think that is a definite factor in why i’m always late for things. I’m always late when me and Clarkie are going out, i’m late when Nel is picking me and i can’t keep an appointment to save my life. Its really annoying but i can’t help it. I think its because i hate sitting about when i’m ready and i get pissed off, so i tend to get ready at the last minute. Thus making me late for nearly everything. At my wedding i ended up being half an hour late. I know its a womans perrogative but sometimes i take the piss.

Well anyway i ended up at Lucy’s with 8 cans of lager and watching Ugly Betty. I forgot how much i liked it. Every Friday night me and Clarkie would settle in front of the telly and watch it. Now i’m at me Mum’s again we don’t get chances to take over the sofa and telly seems to go out the window. An its not as if Clarkie ever watched it, he always fell asleep. Nothing new there. So really if i’m honest my Friday night was pants apart from bitching about Lucy’s ex who is a first class prick. Oh and i had to dry my phone out after Leyla dropped it into the bath with me earlier today. We were sat wit Lucy’s heating on full whack!! e900

Today has been a bit boring too. I got up about dinner time. Very rare when you’ve got a 1 year old. I didn’t know what to do with myself because Clarkie isn’t back until Monday morning. Which by the way is a bonus because if he hadn’t got this extra week off he’d be in Afghanistan Sunday. I’m gutted he’s going but really happy about him getting an extra week with me an Moo. So anyway i got up, moped about the house, watched a bit of telly and basically sat like a cabbage on the sofa. When i eventually got up i got ready and ended up in Shirebrook at my mate Ragga’s. He’s the tattooist. Nel was sat having his leg done when i got there. He’d been sat for 2 hours which is pretty good. His new tattoo is looking really nice too. I sat on the computer playing solitaire and smoking fags. Lee sat looking through all Ragga’s designs, whilst the time Nel is being worked on. Its pretty surreal. Then all of a sudden Cindy (Ragga’s wife) comes storming into the living room and tells Ragga to get outside and kick a blokes head in. Its dead funny i can’t explain how funny it is you definitely have to be there. Shirebrook has a reputation of being rough but when you get to know people who live there its not too bad. Its never boring i can say that.  The only thing is a come back swearing like a trooper and talking Shirebrook slang! He He!!

Me and Lee got back about 6pm. I gave Moo her tea and we all decided to order some Chinese food. It arrived about 40mins later and i was starving. Lee grabbed the box to serve up everything and didn’t hold it properly. It went flying and landed all over the kitchen floor. I pissed myself! I’m a firm believer in laughing about stuff like that! The food was rescued so all was good. I’m all stuffed now and i’m considering going to bed. Its not a bad life really. Wonder what i’ll do tomorrow…..?

No More Babies!

Well i’ve just recovered. As you will know i agreed to take care of my cousins little baby yesterday. I had her overnight and let me tell you it was hard. She was as good as gold bless her, i just know if she was a hand full i’d would have had a nervous break down. The night started well she settled down at 12am and didn’t wake up until 5.30am. An for those of you that are childless this is quite good for a 3 month old. If i’d have gone to sleep when Kia did i would have had a good sleep, only problem was i couldn’t drop off because i was worrying all night. Leyla my little girl snores, grunts and farts in her sleep. Well Kia is silent, she doesn’t stir at all. I was up until gone 2am poking the poor little might to see if she was still alive. Well anyway i was up at 5.30 like i said and the day just exploded from there. However, I was quite proud of myself for getting out of the house before 8am. It was gonna be a task so i needed moral support so i landed myself on Lucy all day. Ha Ha!!!The day went really well except for when 6pm came round an i felt like killing someone. I was so tired i could have dropped where i was. Thankfully Kia was picked up around 6.30pm and the first thing i did was fall into my pit and sleep for 3 hours.

You may think that this sounds harsh but i don’t want anymore kids. Doing the baby thing for just one day has made me realise this. From now one Clarkie can wank!! I’m not taking any chances!!! lol!!! 

I Must Be Mad!!

I’ve just agreed to look after my cousins baby daughter. Her names Kia and she’s  months old. I must be mental, she’s staying the night and everything. I suppose with most maternal women this wouldn’t be a problem, they’d see it as an everyday task but let me tell you i’m bricking it!! I’ve never been maternal not even when i had Leyla. That sounds harsh but its a fact!! I don’t love Leyla any less than any parent would but i don’t get that mushy, girly thing associated with kids. Well anyway i think after tionight with thought on more kids will definitely sway to NEVER! He he!! Only kidding i’m looking forward to it. I’ll see how much i actually remember about babies. Wish me luck!!!

Kia Hours Old

Sad Day.

Well today started off really shit and just got worse. I have just had news from my Aunt that my cousin has lost her baby. Its really sad because she was over the moon when she found out she was pregnant. Its just one of them things though. I look at things like this in a positive way, it just wasn’t meant to be this time round. I just think of all the fun she’ll have trying again. Bless her! All my love honey. Keep your chin up! x x x x x x x x